You know, I always think that I can go, go, go and not stop and not rest.
Now-a-days there is Twitter, Facebook, snail mail, emails both of the personal and business kind, phone calls, text messages, websites, and my work which includes not just working, but the work I do to get work! I could go on and on, but, need I go on? You know what I am talking about!
When I was coming up, as a young model there was none of this. There was a phone with a message machine-that’s it! If I wanted to check in with the agency to find out my next day’s booking, I stopped at the corner phone booth and called.
The truth of the matter is that, all this technology, as fab as it may seem, and as time saving as it is supposed to be….creeps up on you. I find that all of a sudden, I have no free time, no personal time. I find that when the text comes in, (and they do come in at the worst possible times, when I’m carrying bags, in the shower, in a meeting, watching a movie, on the other line, etc.) I am compelled to answer.
When someone asks for a photo online, I cannot say “no” even if I don’t want to answer online fan mail requests, I just can’t not do it! We all have complete access to each other like never before in time!
So then, what does one do? If I go out of the country, my phone follows-as do email and texts! And people expect a quick reply cause they know you have your phone with text and email….
So, I am seeking rest. And I have to get it because my manager says I am “grouchy” when I don’t. He says I function “better” when I have a couple of weeks off. And I guess he’s right… So that blows my theory that I can function and do good work without rest. That I can go, go, go!
I just disillusioned myself! I want to believe I can do my best always….
I am sure you all know what I am talking about. It is important, human, to “get away”.
Case in point: I read for Law and Order- and the day before I read, I flew in from Russia. On the day- I went to the dentist to repair a broken tooth. Then with numb mouth, and a little jet-lag/dead brain, I read for the producers of Law and Order! Now, my coaches both tell me that I have a photographic memory when it comes to dialogue- yet look and behold- I could not remember a word. Needless to say I did not get the gig- and the horrible reading haunts my mind!
I believe I can act in a hurricane-and I HAVE~ But numb-mouthed, mmmmm, guess not! Especially if you add this: I did not really like the part, I just went to practice my lousy audition skills.
I went thinking I could do anything….And I can. Just AFTER I take a rest!
With that said, I am going on vacation for two weeks.
So if you do not hear from me in June, just know-I’m at the beach!